Pointy Teeth| Tigers Sniffing Catnip

My local bookstore is Schulers. For their section on queer books, their label reads “Gay, Lesbian, and Transgender Studies.” (Granted, 95% of the books there were L or G really.) I send them a message about their lack of inclusion of bisexual or queer identities. Here was their response.

Thoughts?

I appreciate their politeness, but still. Come on. You really can’t just say “queer,” “sexuality studies,” or “Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Trans, and Queer?”

Gah.

My  prof pulled the whole “bisexuality implies only 2 genders, while pan acknowledges the spectrum” shit again.

I’m really tired of this. Reinforcing hierarchies within the queer community, label policing, ignoring history, and ignoring what the community you’re describing is trying to say? Not letting marginalized groups define themselves? That’s some bigoted fucked up hypocritical shit. It’s exhausting to have to constantly deal with.

When people do that all I want to do is give out cupcakes to everyone around me except them. Sorry. None for you. Have some sandy raisins from the bottom of my backpack instead.

So I’m doing a video called “The Reinforcement of Homonormativity Using Queer Characters on TV,” and I’m using Modern Family, The New Normal, and Grey’s Anatomy for analysis/video clips/examples.

I’m not familiar with Grey’s, but I wanted to include a same-sex couples of men and women, so I started researching Arizona and Callie. On Callie’s wiki page, there’s this quote “Torres struggles with her bisexuality, and cheats on her with Sloan.”

Subtle biphobia woo! It can’t just be “Torres struggles with her feelings towards Sloan?” Nope, she’s struggling with her bisexuality of course. And it’s my understanding that the character ends up ID’ing as a lesbian…? (I’m having trouble finding that info.) Or at least, she’s apparently perceived as such by 90% of blogs/Tumblr posts/Google results.

Also, if any of y’all are have any insight/video clips/etc on any of the three shows, I’d appreciate it. I’m the most familiar with Modern Family, but I’m sure you all have read posts/seen blogs/have some kind of insight. Thanks!

bemusedlybespectacled:

thingsilearnedfromcosmo:

If you ever thought a guy you met was “gay” or “bisexual” or “pansexual” or anything other than “heterosexual,” you were sorely mistaken. In fact, all guys are strictly attracted to women, and you should be put off by a dude who claims otherwise. It’s what makes the December 2012 issue’s “Worst Date Ever” so haunting — it’s about a man who claimed he was bisexual! AHHHH!

Read More

Oh God, I’d seen an excerpt on the Pervocracy but I had no idea how much worse it got. BTW, newsflash? Sexualities aren’t about you. A person coming out to you is NOT trying to make you feel better, turn you on, or prove something to you. Their identity is NOT ABOUT YOU.

So, I talked to a staff member at my college’s LGBT center earlier this week about the issues I’ve been having with my sociology and Women and Gender Studies professors offering up incorrect information about bisexuality. Namely, the whole bi=two, plays into the gender binary, isn’t as valid as other sexualities, etc.

It went really well, and I’m going to be meeting with her again next week. Apparently one of my professors has been saying that genderqueer individuals are also still playing into our systems of gender—something that deeply hurt the genderqueer people in her class.

So basically, it seems to have come down to privileged academia that always studies the “other” vs. lived experiences. Wish me luck as I try to break down the widespread biphobia in my classrooms and give validity back to the actual voices of our community.

If anyone has any ideas for campaigns, activism, etc, please let me know. I’m hell bent on getting something going on campus to raise awareness, challenge myths, and all that good stuff. I’ve tried talking to my professors directly, but I tend to get sassy which could lead to me having a target on my back for the rest of the semester. As much as I’d like to cause trouble, I also need to pass these classes for my major.

Anywho, like I said, let me know if any of you have any thoughts. I’ve already bookmarked so many posts on Tumblr from y’all, which means I’ve already got a lot of information to start with. I really need to print it all out, and organize it in a binder. Get all nerdy with it.

Here’s one final question as well—is there a fairly specfic aspect of nonmonosexuality/bisexuality/etc that you feel needs to be talked about more? I’m also in the process of making a zine, but I know many other general bi zines exist.

Thank you!

holycheeseandcrackers:

theniwaslikewoah replied to your post: that awkward moment when you have a massive crush…

you realize this is from a SNL sketch, right? just checking

I know it is. It’s a sketch on an extremely popular television show, which is making a joke out of the idea that bisexuality is something that you can just decide to be, and also subtly making a dig at the misconception that bisexuality is typically claimed by attention seeking alternative teens - Who, in turn, have their bisexuality scoffed at because people believe that that is all they are trying to be - Attention seeking.

I understand that this is meant to be a humorous sketch, but it’s on par with making damaging homophobic jokes. It’s attitudes like this - that bisexuality is something to be joked about - that are the main causes of bisexual erasure in society today. If someone made a joke about ‘deciding’ to be gay, people would be up in arms about it, but because everyone thinks that that’s what bisexuality is, they just chuckle at these jokes that are slowly eroding the confidence and social standing of bisexuals everywhere. 

Because if you can ‘decide’ to be bisexual, then you can ‘decide’ to not be bisexual.

Bisexuals already have to deal with the fact that a lot of the LGT* society around the world either considers bisexuals to be ‘kidding themselves’ or ‘standing with one foot in the closet’. On top of that, there is the idea that bisexuals are only ‘half gay’, and therefore don’t deal with as much stigma - When in fact studies have proven that they are more like the bat in the Rudyard Kipling story. Neither side will accept them, and current studies suggest that bisexuals have the poorest mental health statistics out of both lesbians and gay men.

We are told we’re not real. We’re told we don’t deserve support. We are told we are slutty, that we are attention seeking, that we are greedy, or that we’re just waiting to go ‘full gay’. We are often excluded from the groups who were made to shelter and help us.

And then a beloved star turns around and turns all of that into a joke.

bisexualmind:

absquesetentia:

pointyteeth:

Had another professor (in my Sociology of Sexuality class, ironically) do the whole “bisexuality doesn’t acknowledge intersex or trans* people” bullshit.

This needs to fucking stop. I’m emailing my college’s LGBTQ center again, and I’m done trying to be overly polite about the whole issue. It’s problematic and biphobic as hell, and that’s not acceptable in a university that claims to be “LGBT friendly” and is developing a LGBT minor.

Suggestions on what to include in my email/discussion?

Oh my god. I’m practically seething here.

Idk you could link to the faqs and definitions of the biggest bi websites? They practically all tackle this iirc and it might be useful to prove that most of us feel this way - less easy to write off, in a way?

Apparently trans and intersex bisexuals don’t acknowledge themselves

Thanks for all the feedback everyone. I’ll let you know what comes from this. I’ve realized that part of the issue has do to the authority professors have, and the little credibility/validity that bisexuals/bisexuality has. So, trying to tell my Women and Gender Studies/Sociology professors that they have incorrect concepts related to bisexuality is a very hard task. My professors have gotten really defensive, as they feel like they’re being corrected.

I think it says a lot about the ingrained nature of biphobia/bi erasure that these professor who specialize on LG(BTQIA) topics are so unwilling to learn about bisexuality from actual bisexual people. And since there’s been a lack of mainstream bi information/resources made by bi people, they assume that the little they do know about bisexuality has to be correct, since it’s been decided upon by non-bi academics. (And academia has been oh so wonderful about including more than just the gay/straight cis men dichotomy…not.)

Really, it seems like bisexuality is seen as not worthy to study or learn about. Hey, if it’s this nasty, temporary, cissist, binarist, slut-shaming, sleep-with-everyone, phase, why learn about it? It’s not queer enough to be “interesting.” And obviously no trans,* intersex , or asexual people can identify as bi—they’d be oppressing themselves in the eyes of the academic world. And in these classes, bisexuality is always always always defined in opposition to pansexuality, instead of in relation. And this just furthers to holier-than-thou “hearts not parts” concept (granted, some bi folk do adopt that phrase).

And it’s sad that my professors can talk about how the labels of gay and straight create a power structure/hierarchy, but they completely ignore how bisexuality challenges that. It’s the epitome of bi erasure in such an ironic way.

Finally, there’s one aspect of all of this that really makes me this strange combination of pissed off and deeply sad. Spreading these intensely biphobia messages under the guise of academic truth is incredibly hard to fight against. Like I said before, professors hold a lot of power and influence. My professor definition of bisexuality carries so much more validity to a student than my definition, even though I’m bi. And that’s the kicker. Someone’s definition of my identity carries more weight than my definition. It is so classically biphobic that it hurts. “Let’s define bisexuality in the most constrictive and subtly negative way (or not even mention it at all), to therefore perpetuate the gay/straight dichotomy, heterosexuality, and monosexism while still maintaining a public front of “intelligence queer dialogue.”

And if I say something in class, I have to out myself while looking like a complete ass/attention whore (since bisexuals apparently can’t have valid issues or complaints about anything). And if I try to talk to the professor in private, I get a facade of polite interest. Then I’m dismissed. My passion somehow reads as delusion; as wanting to be more queer but not willing to commit to an identity that’s perceived as more stable, accepted, and legitimate.

Professors. So quick to point to the history of gay rights. Yet unable to Google the history of the term “bisexual,” or look into the handful of books in our LGBT center. It’s their fucking job to learn about LGBTQIA issues. And yet they are so fucking unwilling to examine their own monosexual privileged or biphobia due to some kind of academic pride. Snobbery, even. There are academic articles that exist of bisexuality that are good! We have them at our library—why wouldn’t my profs read them, since you know, they teach LGBT classes? That’s what academics are supposed to do—LEARN MORE THINGS ALL THE TIME. If you want to challenge your students then challenge yourself. Stop dismissing what I say—it’s fucking hypocritical.

It’s strange. In the academic world, there’s even more rules on how to be a “good bisexual.” In fact, usually there’s no good way at all. The concept is seen as inherently flawed, and there’s a whole lot of academic bullshit to make them feel comfortable being biphobic. (Or in their words, “being critical,” or using “popular understandings of bisexuality.”)

They always talk about how much they learn from their students. Yet they won’t learn from me.

It’s fucking bullshit.

Had another professor (in my Sociology of Sexuality class, ironically) do the whole “bisexuality doesn’t acknowledge intersex or trans* people” bullshit.

This needs to fucking stop. I’m emailing my college’s LGBTQ center again, and I’m done trying to be overly polite about the whole issue. It’s problematic and biphobic as hell, and that’s not acceptable in a university that claims to be “LGBT friendly” and is developing a LGBT minor.

Suggestions on what to include in my email/discussion?

oswinses:

enjorlaas:

skuboglesby:

bilingual my ass. your either heterolingual or homolingual

#you’re not bilingual  #you’re confused  #stop being greedy   

#it’s just a phase #you’ll meet a nice language and settle down

(via bemusedlybespectacled)

finalowen:

Here’s a quick guide on the many ways you can do it.

1. Go to any number of bisexual websites that give helpful definitions and FAQs on bisexuality.
2. Look on the internet to see what bisexual people have written about how they define their sexuality. It’s quite easy to do.
3. Politely ask a bisexual person (if they’re agreeable to being asked) about their definitions of what the term means.
4. Do some research into the historical context of the phrase and how it originated.
5. Do all of the above.

Here’s a quick guide on the way NOT to do it.

1. Look at the “bi”, assume the ‘two’ is referring to a male/female binary, and decide it means that bisexual people can only be attracted to two genders.
2. Act like an authority from your few seconds worth of half-caring about what it might mean, and paint bisexual people as transphobic based on this conclusion.

Sadly, it seems like that latter is becoming more and more common, and people don’t seem to realise how biphobic it is.