"I want to be alone, and I want people to notice me — both at the same time." Thom Yorke
Re-bloggable by request
[An anonymous question the ShutTheFuckUpStraightPeople, which reads: “Opinion on the It Gets Better campaign?”
Chris has replied: The It Gets Better Campaign: Where cishets stare at a wall and tell devastated queer youth to just deal with it as it will totes get better at some non-distinct point in the future.”]
When I was a kid, I used to go over to friend’s houses and notice that their parents never seemed to bully them or hit them. I assumed this was just because they had a friend over, and that their parents terrorized them all the time when I wasn’t around. I didn’t identify my situation as abuse or reach out to a teacher or counselor because I thought everyone had to live through this. I was probably twenty by the time I realized that some families really don’t humiliate and belittle their kids, ever.
I wish someone had gotten that through to me. I wish instead of saying vaguely and uncomfortably “you can talk to the counselor if you have problems at home,” my teachers had said flat-out “it is not normal to be afraid of your parents, and not normal to be unhappy whenever you’re at home, and you can ask us if you’re not sure if something’s okay or not.” I wish someone could have taught me that wanting to be safe was human instead of selfish.
And I’m probably going to make a whole post about this so I won’t belabor the point right now, but this is why feminists care about media and memes that normalize rape. (Or that stigmatize the words “rape” and “rapist,” but enthusiastically normalize the act of forcing sex on people, as long as you don’t call it that.) Because it tells people that rape is normal, that it’s a popular and accepted way to express romance and/or dominance, and we can’t assume that everyone absorbing this culture knows “of course that’s not how it really works.”
The best significant others are the ones who talk with you about feminism after a few rounds of kinky sex. Butt bruises + “MRAs are such ignorant asses” = best date night ever.
"Yes, false rape accusations happen. Run the protocol anyway. I’ve heard that perhaps the military has the highest number of ‘em. True or not, RUN THE PROTOCOL ANYWAY. Because in 15 years of investigating rape accusations, I can count those that panned out as false on one hand. Meanwhile, the one time I almost skipped the protocol, the one time I almost didn’t believe a petty officer, because I was naive as an investigator and a young woman, because her commanding officer described her as “a party girl, always late, always out drinking, don’t bother with this one”, she turned out to be the victim of one of the most brutal assaults I’ve ever investigated. She shouldn’t have still been -alive-, let alone up and making the accusation. So let me repeat: five false accounts in fifteen years. And one time I almost failed a woman ‘cause of the bullshit way it’s normal to talk about us. Take your shipmates’ word, and then run the protocol. Every. Single. Time."
"You see, I find you, as a feminist, to be a loathsome, vile piece of human garbage. I find you so pernicious and repugnant that the idea of fucking your shit up gives me an erection."
Context: This guy created a website to post personal information of women that men believe are making false rape accusations (including the route they take to work). A woman got upset, and this is his response. Because apparently false rape accusations are a significantly bigger problem than actual rape, to the point that it is okay to threaten someone’s personal safety when you don’t believe her story.
And apparently it’s possible to tell people that rape culture doesn’t exist while also telling feminists you get turned on by the idea of hurting them.
And yet when a feminist dares to get upset at an MRA, or, heaven forbid, make a castration joke, suddenly they’re horribly violent people who are picking on the poor, poor MRAs who would never do a thing to hurt anyone except in self-defense.